Can I have your permission to get a little real + raw here? Because to be honest, I don’t have a lot of space for cushy, kind, pleasantries. I guess that is what immense grief does to you. Tack on six months of forced isolation. You have one big ball of surreal life. So here we go, here is my story on finding the purpose in my pain.

I’ll back up a little bit for you. For those that don’t know, the cover photo on this website is of my late husband and I. It was our last trip to Africa together. He looks a bit tired + haggard in the photo because, well, unknown to us when we set out on the trip, his cancer was back with a vengeance. By the time of this photo we knew there was problem. He was in some serious pain but he was praying it was just a weird nerve pain.

It had been a few months since he had completed chemo and the word “ remission” had been mentioned. We felt safe… enough. Because to stay in the space of honesty, once cancer hits you never really feel completely safe again. We had a feeling this may be our last trip together, we prayed it wasn’t so, oh how we prayed. The majority of our kiddos came along with the team we led, outside of our one daughter who stayed back to grow our little grandson in her belly.

This trip was precious to us for so many reasons but mainly because we were once again doing what we loved to do together. And we were doing it with our African friends who had long ago become family. It was a time that held reflection, encouragement + dreams.

As our trip continued his pain increased and by the time we arrived home it was unbearable for him. No sleep, no ability to lay down for longer than 5-10 minutes at any hour of day or night. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, brought relief of any kind. It took over a week to get in for more tests only to find that yes, the cancer was back and growing rapidly. Our only option, bone marrow transplant. I am not going to walk you through the whole journey because it would be a novel. I will say we did everything we knew to do. It just wasn’t meant to be. Seven months after we returned from Africa he passed away in our home. That same afternoon I would be setting up for our daughter’s formal wedding the next day, where I would now walk the aisle to stand alone in front to give her away to her new husband. Surreal. Numb. PAIN.

So, wow… that is a lot, and it is heavy. But that truly is my pain. A pain that doesn’t easily subside. A pain that visits me every day in unexpected ways, and in unforeseen moments. But I want you to hear me… all along I have known with the most assuredness that there was some sort of purpose to come out of my pain. After all, pain brings awareness + compassion. It softens our hearts to a point of understanding that we had no idea existed. The very thing that hurts us the most also has the ability to be the very thing that drives us to bring change + hope.

For instance, in the thick of my husband’s treatments we pressed on to start this nonprofit. In his last hospital stay, where we were trying to buy time to remain together for the wedding, we held our first board meeting. And three months after he passed away I took a dream team with me to serve, and to gather material to use to spread awareness on this very platform. All of this pressing-on in the thick of pain because of the very solid belief there is indeed a purpose in all pain… and when you find it, when you use it, healing will come your way.

Little did we know on those first few flights to Africa, over 10 years ago, that God would be weaving our stories together so tightly with those we were going with the intention to serve. Oh, over the years we have learned so much, how they love so deeply, they serve right back, they give more than they receive. And in the wake of my grief, remembering the kind of LOVE that they so genuinely expressed to us, gave so freely of despite their circumstance; remembering this LOVE drove me to keep going, to keep my eyes focused out whenever I had the ability. I always had a passion for serving the vulnerable but until this I did not have a good understanding of just how vulnerable they felt. Now I had more in common with them than I wanted to. Sorrow + Lament: the treasures we hold but never asked to carry.

So many of our current projects here at Pamoja Love involve helping widows: food programs, medical care, even child sponsorship as it reduces the burden of school fees for many widows. However, today I want to take a minute to share about the Home Building projects we partner with. These situations are widows who live in very dismal circumstances. Their homes are literally falling apart, dirt floors, with many people in a very small space. The homes typically have one, or two, very small rooms . Our partners have witnessed this desperate need way too often and have in return developed a brilliant response to meet the need. They set up this beautiful partnership with the widow in need where she works with her community to provide some of the basic building materials + labor needed to begin the project. Once she has established the groundwork, then we come in to do a large portion of the home, in the end the community comes in to help finish up the mudding of the internal walls. It is a shining example of working TOGETHER for the good: local leaders + church + community building a safe haven for a precious woman who most likely has felt very alone, unseen + unworthy. This is a B E A U T I F U L thing, isn’t it? This is where I find my pain brings me tremendous purpose, it drives me to help continue to reach out in love.

I mean, who wouldn’t want to be a part of something like this? And imagine being able to go and meet the family you helped build the home for, to see them thriving. It’s possible. To see how this project brought people together for the good, developing long lasting ties. Hope restored, you just can’t put a value to that. If you would like to join in this and spread a little hope + love here is the link to donate towards it. $625 gives a very basic but SOLID home with a dirt floor. $1000 and we can give them a concrete floor so they don’t have to worry about jiggers burrowing in their feet. (if you don’t know what I am talking about click here to learn about the jiggers project or click here to watch video)

Can you imagine how our current world circumstances have increased the needs? Ugh. I would absolutely LOVE to raise awareness and provide for the long list of women who are waiting. Want to join me? Let’s talk about creative ways to help meet the need. Reach out to me, I just know God cares so deeply, and so do I! I stand here 100% believing that TOGETHER we can help make a difference. Let’s be HOPE bringers.

Be LOVED,

Kimber Ryan

Founder: Pamoja Love

To read more about the Home Project click below:

A Safe Shelter from the Storm: Homes for the Vulnerable

Click below to learn about jiggers from dirt floors:

Facebook Video: Jiggers

Clean water- it's needed to survive. And yet I take it for granted every.single.day.

You would think that after being around these precious people, and seeing their very real struggle of capturing enough water to make it through a day, I would be more conservative with my water use. Somehow the endless abundance of water free flowing out of our piped in faucets washes away some of the intense memories I come home with. Still, I don’t completely forget, just enough to feel a bit okay with how we choose to use our abundance of water on a daily basis. I do wrestle with it frequently though… the knowledge and awareness of need around the world and the sheer abundance we live with. So, when I turn on the faucet I frequently find myself praying for those who are thirsty. Praying for those who are thirsty and hungry… walking miles for the hopes of a bucket full of water that will pass as “good enough”. But is it… good enough? Or can I do more to help easy their burden?

In Butere, Western Kenya, they are addressing these needs by putting in Fresh Water Stations. These locations are called "Tsisevere,” meaning “A GATHERING PLACE” in the local luhya language. People will walk miles and miles to water, after all it is needed to simply survive. Many times it is the children that are sent for the water because it takes a substantial amount of time and the Mama’s have much work to do. In most areas they are walking miles, with a bucket to fill from a marshy pond or a contaminated creek. Just getting the water into the bucket can take a substantial amount of time. Imagine the blessing of having a spout of fresh water pouring out. The ability to slip your bucket underneath and the joy of seeing it fill to the rim with fresh, sparkling clean, water.

Each clean water station serves 2-4 villages. A village consists of approx. 50 homesteads of families, so one simple, fresh spring water station can serve 100-200 families with their daily water needs. It is $400 to construct one station that serves up to 200 families. Assuming most families in the area probably have 6-8 people living with them that is a total cost of .25 cents per person. WOW - think about that for a minute. .25 per person for clean water that will serve up to 4 villages. The thought of that is humbling to me, .25 a day isn’t going to make or break it for me, or anyone else in my family for that matter. But people investing .25 cents per person in a two village range changes their lives FOREVER, and for generations to come.

We have started this project at $100 and as we gather 4 donations it will cover one station - but if you want to donate towards this with a smaller amount you certainly can. Just head over to our “DONATE” tab and leave a note in the comments of what project you want it to go to.

And can you do me a favor? When you turn on the tap will you join me in praying for those who are thirsty?

If you want to read more about other giving projects check out the links below, or head over to our giving catalog. Also make sure and join our FB page at Pamoja.love

Together we can make a difference!

Other Giving Catalog Projects:

Shoe Drive Project

Technology in Kibera Slum

Medical Clinic in Kibera Slum

Bananas for kids

Christmas Food Bundles for Widows

Nearly 600 students attend Saviour King Educational Centre in Kibera Slum, Nairobi, Kenya. We have seen first hand how much these kids LOVE their school and their teachers. This place is beyond just a school. This center is filled with HOPE BRINGERS (teachers and staff) that speak into these children’s lives, bring them a solid education, along with the encouragement to DREAM BIG and GO FOR IT! No wonder these kids love school.

This isn’t the only reason these children love coming to school. They also come for the food. The meals they are provided at school can easily be the only solid meal they may receive that day. So imagine the thrill when 600 bananas arrive on the scene, along with an added dose of nutritional veggies for their lunch bowls.

That is what a $100 donation can achieve. The basic cost of one families holiday meal can light up the faces of 600 children! We would love to be able to offer this to the school kids once a month.

What if a classroom of kids gave $4 per child to cover one days food gift? Or what if co-workers came together and instead of a HUGE outpouring of food for the staff party you put some of the budget towards bananas? When many people are willing to invest their “little”, together it amounts to a lot. That is what we LOVE about our nonprofit. It is all about working together as we give with the little we have to accomplish something BIG in the name of LOVE. Pamoja Love. Together Love.

If this is something that makes your heart sing at the idea of - please click this link : https://www.pamoja.love/givingcatalog There you will find the 8 giving catalog projects we are highlighting this year. Click the “DONATE” button below the project you would like to join in. And make sure to keep checking back on our blog, we will be sharing more stories about the incredible people we are partnering with to make a difference around the world.

We would love to have you be a part of the Pamoja Love family!

If you didn’t happen to read our previous post on the Teachers Helping Teachers Around the World - then you will want to make sure and click that link (article title) and read up on what community this particular project serves.

I sat there thinking “What? Who am I?” Did she really pick me to be on the prayer team because she thought I was a prayer warrior or did God tell her to pick me just because. I questioned this with every shaking bone in my body, I was terrified to sit face to face with someone who spoke a different language than me, lived in a different culture than me, would have expectations of me. I really didn’t feel qualified to offer a single thing. In fact, why was I going on this trip? Oh yeah, I wanted to meet our sponsor girls in person.

I often wonder if I would have been brave enough to make that first trip had it not been for the love I had for these little girls I had yet to meet. The love I felt for them drowned out a lot of those voices telling me I couldn’t / shouldn’t go. It helped me to think outside of myself. Those girls are what God used to get me out of my comfort zone and closer to His will.

To think of ALLLLLLLLLL the things that followed that first trip and are still being dreamed up. I could have simply missed the ride by not even showing up in response to fear, with no idea of what I missed out on. Actually, I wonder how many times I have done that?

I think the key to squashing fear in the face and stepping towards what we were designed to do is easier than we think, we need to love something more than we love ourselves. Being brave is much easier when we find something bigger than ourselves to care about. So… start looking around, see what makes a little stir, a little compassion, in your heart and try that.

Together we can make a difference.