The Widow Project | Grief, Stigma, and the Fight for Dignity
A widow’s life is never something one would choose. It is a painful, lonely road - one that stretches across time and space, touching every culture in different ways. But in some places, widowhood is more than grief; it is a stripping away of identity, security, and dignity.
I never fully understood this reality until I walked beside one of my best friends and ministry partners in Kenya after the tragic accident that took her husband’s life. I had known widowhood in my own way, but I had never imagined what it looked like in a culture where loss is not just mourned but questioned - where a woman can suddenly find herself an outcast, no longer certain of her place in the world.
Even as a Christian, she was not immune to the deeply rooted customs surrounding widowhood. Though she was not forced into traditional rituals, there was an unspoken uncertainty about how she would now be seen. Who would still welcome her? Who would turn away? Who would expect her to be inherited by another man? Would she lose her voice in the very ministry she had helped build?
These were not just abstract fears. They were the lived reality of so many widows before her - women who had lost not only their husbands but their homes, their rights, and their ability to make choices for their own lives. In this culture, a widower does not face these questions. He does not wonder if he will be cast out, if his presence will bring discomfort, or if he will still have a seat at the table. But for a widow, everything is uncertain.
This is why we do what we do. This is why we build homes - not just as shelters but as symbols of security, a place where a widow is safe and belongs. This is why we walk alongside these women, offering mentorship and leadership development, ensuring that they are not just recipients of aid but empowered to shape their own futures.
I have watched as widows reclaim their dignity. I have seen them rise, not just for themselves but for their children, whose futures often hang in the balance. When a widow is given stability, her children are fed, they stay in school, and they see what it means to stand strong in the face of loss.
This is more than charity. It is justice. It is restoration. And it is the very heart of the Gospel.
Would you stand with us? Would you help ensure that no widow walks this journey alone?
A love that reaches beyond borders: from one widow to another
There was a day she was called to go, to see, to experience and to do. She was headed to Tanzania with a team from the Pacific Northwest. They would be spending two plus weeks in this beautiful land brimming with opportunity to love and serve, working with local partners, reaching out to those who were experiencing deep pain and hardship. Lois understood pain and hardship, she was a widow. She had experienced the pain of loss and she had much love to offer.
As she connected with people walking across the rich soil of the village and billowing through the dusty ground of Maasailand her heart was being deeply impacted. Heartstrings were developing, strings that would hold the memories tight to her heart over a decade later.
A little over ten years later Lois would hear of another heartbreaking story of a widow from her friends, the local leaders that she had worked with earlier in Tanzania. They shared the following: “She is called Ruth, her husband died 5 years ago, when she was with child. She has four children.” After the death of her husband there was the usual traditional option of being inherited by force, that his family was pressing her for, a family member could take her as his own, but Ruth refused. This was more than she could imagine, which forced her to remain living in a home that was falling apart and leaking. When Lois read this she knew the time is NOW, she needed to do something.
So what did she do? She joined the Widow’s Home Building Projects that the local partners run and funded a home for this family. The cost typically runs around $650 and that provides the basics for labor and the main structure, then the community comes together to help with the rest building the walls, etc.
Since the time of the home being built a neighbor to the widow was talking to our partners about the impact love in action makes. He said “ It’s not Jesus alone that raises people from death, we still have people on earth raising other people.” (Of course we recognize that he is saying Jesus is still using people to reach out in love and make a great impact in the life of another. To God be the glory! )
But for this kind of raising to happen it does take a willingness and action of people coming together. Lois still has more she would like to do, more love to share, would you like to be a part of this story?
The widow in this story still needs a concrete floor, which runs about $500, and furniture to house the home with practical items like a bed, a couch, table, etc. This runs around $400-750 depending on the family’s specific needs. Of course, there are many more widows and vulnerable families in need that you can help to build a safe shelter for, a home. Like Lois, we would LOVE to have you join us in our mission to make HOPE loud for those hurting in Tanzania and Kenya. There are a few ways to join the movement:
1. You can become a Pamoja Love Dream Team Member and create a project of your own to fundraise for.
2. you can join Lois in her mission to continue raising funds for Ruth’s home or the home of others in need. You will find the link below to donate.
If you have any questions, or are eager to become a Dream Team Member, you can shoot us an email at hello@pamoja.love
God Protects Us
A song of the stairway
I look up to the mountains and hills, longing for God’s help.
But then I realize that our true help and protection
is only from the Lord, our Creator who made the heavens and the earth.
He will guard and guide me, never letting me stumble or fall.
God is my keeper; he will never forget nor ignore me.
He will never slumber nor sleep; he is the Guardian-God for his people, Israel.
Yahweh himself will watch over you; he’s always at your side to shelter you safely in his presence.
He’s protecting you from all danger both day and night.
He will keep you from every form of evil or calamity as he continuously watches over you.
You will be guarded by God himself.
You will be safe when you leave your home, and safely you will return.
He will protect you now, and he’ll protect you forevermore!
PSALM 121 The Passion Translation
