The Widow Project | Survival, Inheritance + the Fight for a Safe Home
A Widow’s Walk: When Home is No Longer Safe
Becoming a widow isn’t just about losing a husband - it’s about losing your place in the world.
Many of the communities we work within are part of the Luhya tribe — one of the largest ethnic groups in Kenya, with over 7 million people. The Luhya people have a rich and beautiful culture - one built on deep community ties, hospitality, and strength. But like in many other tribes, the issue of widowhood carries a weight that is hard to reconcile with these otherwise beautiful traditions.
This isn’t unique to the Luhya. Similar beliefs and practices surrounding widowhood exist in other tribes, including the Maasai and Luo. The challenge isn’t the culture itself - it’s the way widowhood strips a woman of her security and standing within it.
When a woman’s husband dies, grief isn’t the only thing she faces. Almost immediately, questions start swirling around her life, about her - and none of them have easy answers.
Do my friends still trust me, or do they see me as a threat now?
Will my husband’s family protect me - or try to take everything I have left?
Will the man set to “inherit” me respect me — or will he take control of my life and treat my children like they don’t matter?
The pressure is immediate. The fear is real.
Marked by Death
In some tribes, death is seen as something that clings to the widow - like a curse.
Before she’s even allowed to eat with or hug her children, she may be forced to go through specific rituals meant to “cleanse” her of death’s shadow. Some of these practices are invasive, violating her body and leaving her emotionally exposed.
Before and after the rituals, the questions remain.
Will her friends still invite her into their homes, or will they keep their distance, afraid that death might follow?
Will her in-laws support her - or strip her of her rights?
If an inheritor steps in, will he provide for her and the children - or take advantage of her while offering nothing in return?
It’s not just about grief. It’s about survival.
Inheritance and Displacement
Even before she’s processed the loss of her husband, the threat of inheritance hangs over her.
In many cases, a male relative - usually the husband’s brother - will step in to inherit the widow. That means he takes over her home, her possessions, and in some cases, her life.
If she refuses to be inherited, the consequences can be devastating.
I've sat with widows who were pushed out of their homes - forced to the streets because they refused to be treated like property. I've seen women living in makeshift shacks because their husband's family took the house - and everything in it.
Often when the inheritor steps in, it’s not about protection. It’s about taking. Some widows are abused - emotionally, physically, and financially. Their needs ignored. Their children neglected. Their voices silenced.
And if the widow’s husband’s family decides she’s no longer welcome? There’s no safety net. No legal claim. She’s simply left to figure it out alone.
This is Where Pamoja Love Steps In
At Pamoja Love, we refuse to let that be the end of the story.
We’ve met widows who were living on the streets. Women sleeping under crumbling roofs with their children, terrified of the next storm. Women left with nothing because their husband’s family took it all.
Through our Widows’ Home project, we work with local leaders to find widows in the most desperate situations. These are women who have been abandoned, abused, and left without options.
Local churches and community leaders reach out when they see a widow in need. They visit her, listen to her story, and create a plan. What supplies are needed? What labor is required? What will it take to make her feel safe again?
The funds donated through Pamoja Love go directly to providing materials and labor to build a home that is hers - a place where she feels safe.
And it’s not just about shelter - it’s about reclaiming dignity. When a widow has a secure home, it changes everything. She can stop surviving and start rebuilding.
Her children have a safe place to sleep.
She can breathe again, knowing no one will come to take what’s left.
She starts to feel like she belongs again.
Helping Her Children Go to School
But it’s not just the widow who suffers - her children do too.
Losing a father often means losing the ability to pay school fees. For many kids, education stops the moment their father dies. And without school, the cycle of poverty deepens.
That’s why Pamoja Love also provides child sponsorship for widows' children. Sponsorship covers tuition, uniforms, and supplies - making sure that even after the unthinkable happens, her children have a future.
A home gives them safety. Education gives them hope.
Restoring More Than a Home
The impact doesn’t stop at the widow’s front door.
When a widow’s life is restored, it’s not just about having a roof over her head - it’s about reclaiming her place in the community and stepping into the purpose God has for her life.
God sees her. He sees the grief, the rejection, and the fear. But He also sees the strength in her - the creative plans He’s placed in her heart and the gifts He’s equipped her with. He hasn’t forgotten her, and He’s not finished writing her story.
That’s why it’s not enough just to give a widow a home - she needs the tools and opportunities to rebuild her life. Through our business startup program, widows are finding new purpose as they provide for their families.
Some are starting small shops, selling produce or handmade goods. Others are learning tailoring or farming. But the most powerful part? They’re not doing it alone.
We’ve seen widows gather together - supporting each other not just emotionally but practically. They form business co-ops, pooling their resources and knowledge, helping each other succeed. One widow’s success becomes a lifeline for another.
When a widow rises, others rise with her.
And it’s not just about business - it’s about dignity. When a widow earns her own income, she stands taller. She knows her children will be fed, her home will stay secure, and her future isn’t dependent on anyone else's decisions.
We’ve seen God move in these moments - creating pathways where there were none. A woman who once faced shame and uncertainty now becomes a source of strength for others. She gathers with other widows, prays with them, and stands beside them as they build a better future together.
It’s the fulfillment of God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This is restoration.
This is redemption.
This is God rebuilding what was lost - not just a home, but a future.
How You Can Step In
The need is great - but the solution is simple.
✅ Sponsor a Widow’s Home – Give a widow a safe place to live.
✅ Support a Small Business – Help a widow build a source of income and independence.
✅ Educate a Child – Ensure that her children can stay in school and secure a future.
✅ Mentorship Partner – Walk alongside a widow as she steps into leadership.
✅ Pray and Advocate – Spread awareness and stand with these women in faith.
I’ve seen it happen.
I’ve seen women who had nothing stand in front of their community with strength and dignity because someone gave them a place to belong again. I've seen children who were sure they'd never go to school now wearing their uniforms with pride because someone made room for their future.
A home is more than a roof and walls.
Education is more than textbooks and uniforms.
Mentorship is more than advice.
It’s about rebuilding a life that was stripped away.
It’s about showing these women that they matter.
It’s about reminding them that they are seen - and they are not alone.
This is more than survival. This is restoration.
This is justice.
This is hope found in Jesus.
-K
Walking With Widows in Africa | The weight of loss in a different world.
In many parts of Africa, a widow is pushed to the very fringes of society. She becomes an outcast, unseen and unheard, her grief multiplied by rejection and blame. Each tribe has its own traditions, but the reality is the same: when her husband dies, so does her place in the world.
Many widows are considered cursed, accused of being the cause of their husband’s death—even if it was from disease or a tragic accident. This belief completely isolates her, making her untouchable, even to her closest friends. To be accepted into the fold again, she may be forced into rituals that strip away her dignity. And if she survives that, she can be “inherited” by another man, who takes her home, her possessions, and whatever else he wants, with no obligation to care for her. Her voice is silenced. Her worth is diminished. She is left to fight for her family on her own.
It’s hard to wrap my mind around it all, even now, as I sit in Tanzania, walking alongside Jacinta—our partner, very close friend, and fellow widow. Earlier this year, Jacinta’s life was shattered when her husband, John, died in a terrible accident. She’s carrying unimaginable grief, yet here she is, leading this year’s Widow’s Christmas Food Blessing with a strength I can only describe as God-given.
Last year, God stirred my heart to be here for this. His message was simple but piercing: You never know how long you have. I couldn’t have imagined what that would mean. I didn’t know John would suddenly be gone. I didn’t know that, at his funeral, a government official would stand in front of hundreds of widows and announce, “Your Christmas blessing is now gone.” And I didn’t know that Jacinta and I—two widows—would be here together, determined to remind other women walking this hard road that they are not forgotten.
This Christmas Food Blessing is about so much more than food. It’s a voice of hope to women who feel unseen and cast aside. Each basket is a tangible reminder that they matter, that God sees them and cares for them. It’s a chance to say, “You are not forgotten. You are loved.”
Jacinta and I are pressing forward, walking together to make sure these widows know they’re not alone. And we can’t do it without you. This year, we have a $10,000 match, which means every dollar you give will go twice as far. Together, we can remind these women that even on the hardest days, God’s love hasn’t left them—and it never will.
If you’ve ever wondered how to bring hope to someone who feels invisible, this is it. A simple food basket, given in love, can make HOPE loud to a widow in the darkest season of her life. (Make sure to watch the quick video below) Will you join us in being that voice of hope this Christmas? Let’s show these incredible women that they are not forgotten—that God sees them, and so do we.
In this Together,
Kimber Ryan
Founder + Director
Widows Food Blessing in Kibera Slum, Western Kenya, Maasailand, Tanzania.
