The Widow Project | Survival, Inheritance + the Fight for a Safe Home
A Widow’s Walk: When Home is No Longer Safe
Becoming a widow isn’t just about losing a husband - it’s about losing your place in the world.
Many of the communities we work within are part of the Luhya tribe — one of the largest ethnic groups in Kenya, with over 7 million people. The Luhya people have a rich and beautiful culture - one built on deep community ties, hospitality, and strength. But like in many other tribes, the issue of widowhood carries a weight that is hard to reconcile with these otherwise beautiful traditions.
This isn’t unique to the Luhya. Similar beliefs and practices surrounding widowhood exist in other tribes, including the Maasai and Luo. The challenge isn’t the culture itself - it’s the way widowhood strips a woman of her security and standing within it.
When a woman’s husband dies, grief isn’t the only thing she faces. Almost immediately, questions start swirling around her life, about her - and none of them have easy answers.
Do my friends still trust me, or do they see me as a threat now?
Will my husband’s family protect me - or try to take everything I have left?
Will the man set to “inherit” me respect me — or will he take control of my life and treat my children like they don’t matter?
The pressure is immediate. The fear is real.
Marked by Death
In some tribes, death is seen as something that clings to the widow - like a curse.
Before she’s even allowed to eat with or hug her children, she may be forced to go through specific rituals meant to “cleanse” her of death’s shadow. Some of these practices are invasive, violating her body and leaving her emotionally exposed.
Before and after the rituals, the questions remain.
Will her friends still invite her into their homes, or will they keep their distance, afraid that death might follow?
Will her in-laws support her - or strip her of her rights?
If an inheritor steps in, will he provide for her and the children - or take advantage of her while offering nothing in return?
It’s not just about grief. It’s about survival.
Inheritance and Displacement
Even before she’s processed the loss of her husband, the threat of inheritance hangs over her.
In many cases, a male relative - usually the husband’s brother - will step in to inherit the widow. That means he takes over her home, her possessions, and in some cases, her life.
If she refuses to be inherited, the consequences can be devastating.
I've sat with widows who were pushed out of their homes - forced to the streets because they refused to be treated like property. I've seen women living in makeshift shacks because their husband's family took the house - and everything in it.
Often when the inheritor steps in, it’s not about protection. It’s about taking. Some widows are abused - emotionally, physically, and financially. Their needs ignored. Their children neglected. Their voices silenced.
And if the widow’s husband’s family decides she’s no longer welcome? There’s no safety net. No legal claim. She’s simply left to figure it out alone.
This is Where Pamoja Love Steps In
At Pamoja Love, we refuse to let that be the end of the story.
We’ve met widows who were living on the streets. Women sleeping under crumbling roofs with their children, terrified of the next storm. Women left with nothing because their husband’s family took it all.
Through our Widows’ Home project, we work with local leaders to find widows in the most desperate situations. These are women who have been abandoned, abused, and left without options.
Local churches and community leaders reach out when they see a widow in need. They visit her, listen to her story, and create a plan. What supplies are needed? What labor is required? What will it take to make her feel safe again?
The funds donated through Pamoja Love go directly to providing materials and labor to build a home that is hers - a place where she feels safe.
And it’s not just about shelter - it’s about reclaiming dignity. When a widow has a secure home, it changes everything. She can stop surviving and start rebuilding.
Her children have a safe place to sleep.
She can breathe again, knowing no one will come to take what’s left.
She starts to feel like she belongs again.
Helping Her Children Go to School
But it’s not just the widow who suffers - her children do too.
Losing a father often means losing the ability to pay school fees. For many kids, education stops the moment their father dies. And without school, the cycle of poverty deepens.
That’s why Pamoja Love also provides child sponsorship for widows' children. Sponsorship covers tuition, uniforms, and supplies - making sure that even after the unthinkable happens, her children have a future.
A home gives them safety. Education gives them hope.
Restoring More Than a Home
The impact doesn’t stop at the widow’s front door.
When a widow’s life is restored, it’s not just about having a roof over her head - it’s about reclaiming her place in the community and stepping into the purpose God has for her life.
God sees her. He sees the grief, the rejection, and the fear. But He also sees the strength in her - the creative plans He’s placed in her heart and the gifts He’s equipped her with. He hasn’t forgotten her, and He’s not finished writing her story.
That’s why it’s not enough just to give a widow a home - she needs the tools and opportunities to rebuild her life. Through our business startup program, widows are finding new purpose as they provide for their families.
Some are starting small shops, selling produce or handmade goods. Others are learning tailoring or farming. But the most powerful part? They’re not doing it alone.
We’ve seen widows gather together - supporting each other not just emotionally but practically. They form business co-ops, pooling their resources and knowledge, helping each other succeed. One widow’s success becomes a lifeline for another.
When a widow rises, others rise with her.
And it’s not just about business - it’s about dignity. When a widow earns her own income, she stands taller. She knows her children will be fed, her home will stay secure, and her future isn’t dependent on anyone else's decisions.
We’ve seen God move in these moments - creating pathways where there were none. A woman who once faced shame and uncertainty now becomes a source of strength for others. She gathers with other widows, prays with them, and stands beside them as they build a better future together.
It’s the fulfillment of God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This is restoration.
This is redemption.
This is God rebuilding what was lost - not just a home, but a future.
How You Can Step In
The need is great - but the solution is simple.
✅ Sponsor a Widow’s Home – Give a widow a safe place to live.
✅ Support a Small Business – Help a widow build a source of income and independence.
✅ Educate a Child – Ensure that her children can stay in school and secure a future.
✅ Mentorship Partner – Walk alongside a widow as she steps into leadership.
✅ Pray and Advocate – Spread awareness and stand with these women in faith.
I’ve seen it happen.
I’ve seen women who had nothing stand in front of their community with strength and dignity because someone gave them a place to belong again. I've seen children who were sure they'd never go to school now wearing their uniforms with pride because someone made room for their future.
A home is more than a roof and walls.
Education is more than textbooks and uniforms.
Mentorship is more than advice.
It’s about rebuilding a life that was stripped away.
It’s about showing these women that they matter.
It’s about reminding them that they are seen - and they are not alone.
This is more than survival. This is restoration.
This is justice.
This is hope found in Jesus.
-K
A Christmas Prayer of Blessing for Widows in Africa.
A Christmas Blessing for Widows in Africa
Blessed are you, dear widow, standing on the fringes, unseen by the world yet fully seen by the God who made you. Blessed are you when the weight of loss feels too much to bear, and yet you rise each morning, carrying your grief with courage and grace.
May you know the truth of these words this Christmas: “God steps in to help the down-and-out, rescues the wretched who have been thrown out with the trash” (Psalm 113:7, MSG). May He step into your story and lift you up, reminding you that you are not forgotten.
Blessed are you, whose tears water the dry ground of sorrow. For the Lord, your Shepherd, walks beside you in the valley, holding you close, even when the road feels unbearably lonely. He whispers, “I am your safe place. I will strengthen you and be your hero and cause you to stand firm” (Isaiah 41:10, TPT).
May this Christmas bring glimpses of joy, no matter how small—a child’s laughter, a warm meal, a word of encouragement from a friend. May these be signs of Emmanuel, God with us, who is always near, always loving, always providing.
Blessed are you who continue to hope, even when it feels impossible. For the God who watches over the sparrows watches over you, and His love never fails. “He will bring justice to those who have been wronged. He will heal the brokenhearted and bandage their wounds” (Psalm 147:3, TPT).
May this season remind you that you are deeply loved, wholly valued, and forever cherished by the One who sees you and calls you by name. And may His peace, the kind that surpasses all understanding, guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Amen.
We are praying for each one of you this Christmas season. We know it isn’t easy, but we are sure God is in the valley with you. You are dearly loved.
Blessings this Christmas season,
The Pamoja Love Crew
A love that reaches beyond borders: from one widow to another
There was a day she was called to go, to see, to experience and to do. She was headed to Tanzania with a team from the Pacific Northwest. They would be spending two plus weeks in this beautiful land brimming with opportunity to love and serve, working with local partners, reaching out to those who were experiencing deep pain and hardship. Lois understood pain and hardship, she was a widow. She had experienced the pain of loss and she had much love to offer.
As she connected with people walking across the rich soil of the village and billowing through the dusty ground of Maasailand her heart was being deeply impacted. Heartstrings were developing, strings that would hold the memories tight to her heart over a decade later.
A little over ten years later Lois would hear of another heartbreaking story of a widow from her friends, the local leaders that she had worked with earlier in Tanzania. They shared the following: “She is called Ruth, her husband died 5 years ago, when she was with child. She has four children.” After the death of her husband there was the usual traditional option of being inherited by force, that his family was pressing her for, a family member could take her as his own, but Ruth refused. This was more than she could imagine, which forced her to remain living in a home that was falling apart and leaking. When Lois read this she knew the time is NOW, she needed to do something.
So what did she do? She joined the Widow’s Home Building Projects that the local partners run and funded a home for this family. The cost typically runs around $650 and that provides the basics for labor and the main structure, then the community comes together to help with the rest building the walls, etc.
Since the time of the home being built a neighbor to the widow was talking to our partners about the impact love in action makes. He said “ It’s not Jesus alone that raises people from death, we still have people on earth raising other people.” (Of course we recognize that he is saying Jesus is still using people to reach out in love and make a great impact in the life of another. To God be the glory! )
But for this kind of raising to happen it does take a willingness and action of people coming together. Lois still has more she would like to do, more love to share, would you like to be a part of this story?
The widow in this story still needs a concrete floor, which runs about $500, and furniture to house the home with practical items like a bed, a couch, table, etc. This runs around $400-750 depending on the family’s specific needs. Of course, there are many more widows and vulnerable families in need that you can help to build a safe shelter for, a home. Like Lois, we would LOVE to have you join us in our mission to make HOPE loud for those hurting in Tanzania and Kenya. There are a few ways to join the movement:
1. You can become a Pamoja Love Dream Team Member and create a project of your own to fundraise for.
2. you can join Lois in her mission to continue raising funds for Ruth’s home or the home of others in need. You will find the link below to donate.
If you have any questions, or are eager to become a Dream Team Member, you can shoot us an email at hello@pamoja.love
God Protects Us
A song of the stairway
I look up to the mountains and hills, longing for God’s help.
But then I realize that our true help and protection
is only from the Lord, our Creator who made the heavens and the earth.
He will guard and guide me, never letting me stumble or fall.
God is my keeper; he will never forget nor ignore me.
He will never slumber nor sleep; he is the Guardian-God for his people, Israel.
Yahweh himself will watch over you; he’s always at your side to shelter you safely in his presence.
He’s protecting you from all danger both day and night.
He will keep you from every form of evil or calamity as he continuously watches over you.
You will be guarded by God himself.
You will be safe when you leave your home, and safely you will return.
He will protect you now, and he’ll protect you forevermore!
PSALM 121 The Passion Translation
